MY Story Part 2

By the age of 21 I moved out. I moved in with a House full of other young women. Hormones raging. I could hear my room mates. doing their business with men in the next room. I would try and go to sleep. The sounds would just penetrate my hearing. Which got my mind to thinking . Thinking about what they where doing and I was missing out on. I began to Club hop just like they were doing. One night I propositioned a young man and he said yes. That was the beginning of a very long promiscuous life style. God has provided much protection. Now in front of my family you realize nothing was going on. As far as they were concerned I was just a hard working well behaved young Christian girl who had just moved out to start her productive life.

I finally met a young handsome black man that got my attention. He just wanted my company he did not want to take advantage of me. In fact he would often tell me I needed to go home in order to stay out of trouble with him. However eventually defenses where let down on both sides. Six months later I found myself pregnant by him. By this point things had not gone so well living out of the house. My parents had gone through a divorce ! My father would soon die of Cancer. Within two years, I moved back home in the room where my parent used to call theirs. When it came to light that I was pregnant I was kicked out. I am not sure if it was the fact I had made a bad choice or the fact the bad choice was with a black man. I was always told to judge people by their character. That is what I did . He had a good heart. I knew it. We were just young and dumb . My parents conflicted me. They were going against everything they had taught and so called represented . There was no unconditional love!

The father of my baby and I moved in an apartment. It was a struggle. God smiled on us and we made it. Notice I am not married. Finally two children later, many moves later, and many jobs later my common law husband and my two children are now living in Augusta, Georgia. For many years I felt safe and secure. Now though my husband is a Truck Driver, always gone. I have no car, no friends, no church and strangers as common-law- in- laws. Plus two children.

Remember I always called myself a Christian, I truly believed in the existence of God but very unaware of his requirements. There were no true examples that I trusted. Except for Mom and she was critical and judgmental. Anyway I’m up here in Georgia isolated and lonely. Along comes the Devil in the flesh and sits down beside me. He starts telling me how fine I am and all the rest of the smooth talking words that come with seduction. I began to fall for the lie that I can have the bad man along with the good man. I when I say bad I mean bad! Into drugs, abusive, but he satisfied an unfulfilled desire. An ungodly desire that had been in affecting my life ever since the night of the rape. The destruction that this man sowed into my life through Lust was so bad I thought I was going to loose everything! My children, my home my common law husband who was a professed believer of God but did not want to give anything up.

I struggled with this secret for 7 months until his sister, whom I now view as my guardian angel busted everything. My life changed!

But God! Had a better plan and a better way!

My common law husband was furious. Angry, hurt, shamed. Everything you could imagine. But he loved me! He loved me! He loved me unconditionally ! He was the first example of Jesus in my life that I had known and He did not even know it!

God had been watching over me for months while I was going through that crisis. There were church ladies that had been coming by and though I never visited their church they took an interest in me who I was, and what was going on with me. They counseled me. I began to go to church with a neighbor there in a Augusta. A neighbor ,who became like family. She encouraged my to attend the Bible College there at the church I was attending. Calvary Evangelistic Deliverance Church. How appropriate. Every thing I needed in one name. I needed the blood of forgiveness at Calvary, and I need the Deliverance that